Monday, June 8, 2009

Divorce is it an option?

So many people have an opinion on whether or not one can get a divorce if they are a Christian. My opinion is yes they can. I do take marriage very seriously as I have been married 34 yrs to a wonderful man. Was every day of our marriage wedded bliss? No, of course not but we have strived to put God first and to constantly work on our marriage.

I've researched about divorce more readily because of family members who are debating this issue. In the bible it quotes that there are reasons that God can understand a person wanting to divorce. One was for infidelity and the other for abuse.

I Corthians 5:11 You are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people.
Here is where I see that divorce is acceptable. When a spouse is involved in sexual sins, abusive, a drunkard, or drug addict.

Growing up with an alcoholic abusive father was never easy and in fact very scary. I prayed and I prayed and so did my mother that my father would change but little did I know that in order for a person to change they have to want it too. All the prayers in the world can not change man's own will. God gave us a will and so we have free choice and we must at times accept that in order for a person to change he must want to do it too.

Does that mean we are to stop praying, no. We continue to pray and hope that some day that the person's heart will soften so God can work on them.

Saying all this because I feel too many people fall back into the idea because we are Christians we must accept bad behavior and stay in marriages that are painful, abusive and destructive, or stay because of children. I feel staying for the children isn't a good reason. If there is constant fighting and bickering what does that teach the children and how does that help them? Children need a home where there is love and peace and respect for each other and not badgering, belittling, arguing and fighting.

I'm thankful that in today's society we have Domestic Violence for the abused. I say abused because many men are abused just like the women are, its just few cases. Abuse comes in many forms; its not all physical its also mental, verbal and emotional abuse as well. In some marriages I see wives verbally belittle their husbands and then they wonder why their marriage doesn't work. Marriage is not 50-50 but its where each person must give 100% of themselves to make it work.

Yes, God hates divorce but he allows it in certain circumstances too.
For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel Mal. 2:16

Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him. Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes her a letter of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house. When she leaves his house, she is free to marry another man Deu. 24:1,2
(This above passage was a law given by Moses)
Jesus said: “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. Matt. 5:31
There are six things the Lord hates—
no, seven things he detests:
haughty eyes (pride),
a lying tongue,
hands that kill the innocent,
a heart that plots evil,
feet that race to do wrong,
a false witness who pours out lies,
a person who sows discord in a family. Proverbs 6:16-19

Here we see that God hates other things besides divorce. So many people tell me that God only hates divorce and that is not true. The only unpardonable sin is blasmphemy against the Holy Spirit. All other sins are forgivible.

Matthew 12:31-32 says, "And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.
In life we must make our choices wisely, and we must think things through before we marry. When we are already in a bad marriage we need to go to counseling when it isn't working and pray scriptures over our mate and ourself to work on having a healthy relationship before immediately jumping into a divorce. The final decision must be made up by the individual and God. He must choose whether to stay in the relationship and work on issues and be willing to forgive and forget or deicide its time to let go and move on. At any rate it is truely a hard decision to make. I pray all those considering this step will take the time and think it through before the final decision is made.

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